necrute:

american money seems so confusing

its all the same colour so u have to like pay attention when ur giving people money

like what if u go to give a friend a dollar and accidentally give them $100??? what if u dont correct them???

add some colour 2 ur economy america

vive la australia

(Source: sanfrisko, via hotboyproblems)

foxnewsofficial:

i have lost all motivation i only care about christmas

(Source: foxnewsofficial, via zackisontumblr)

burgrs:

im so worried about tall boys….be safe…be careful up there… maybe u should come down here and kiss me

(via asian)

denchgang:

me: *makes a post*

everyone: *fuckin loves it*

(via imreallycoolandfriendly)

me: mom... dad... im g-
parents: gay?
me: going into battle and i need only your strongest potions

beccamakalapua:

punkasslouis:

punkasslouis:

I’m hiding naked in my closet because there are mattress delivery men in my bedroom and no one thought to tell me so I was just doing my naked thing after my shower and then I was very unceremoniously shoved into my closet and I don’t know how long I have to be here I don’t have snacks or anything

update: I found a chocolate bar on my shelf but also my phone battery is at 20% I feel like bear grylls

don’t you have clothes in your closet

(Source: harrywantsababy, via ruinedchildhood)

Asked by Anonymous Anonymous

what drugs have you done

h0odrich:

nice try mom

christoph-waltzed:

I remember in year 2 there was a girl who had literally never had a haircut so her hair was ridiculously long [imagine Rapunzel basically] and she always complained about it but her mum wouldn’t let her get  it cut

So one day at recess she put an entire pack of chewed gum in her hair at the exact length she wanted it cut to.

She came in the next day with her hair cut how she wanted it and a smug grin on her face and I knew that that girl was going places. 

(Source: pleasantandcain, via zackisontumblr)

the-loki-initiative:

habibtipalestina:

Student: can I please use the bathroom?

*takes bag*

Teachers: why are you taking your bag?

image

This happened in my English class one time and the girl who was going picked up her bag as she got up and the male teacher just said “Put your bag down and go to the bathroom.” and without any hesitation she just said, “I need something in it there is blood coming out of my vagina.” He never made girls leave their bags again.

(Source: habibipalestina, via oknope)

rapewhistled:

why do old people drive slow they barely have any time left like GOOOOO ur dying

(via nighthooker)

NIGHTNIGHT by DEDDY